In eighteen years, I've touched so many lives.
Seen so many things, tears sting my eyes.
When I 've made friends, and lost others.
Been ripped from mates, I'd call brothers.
Lost family in the process, some before their time.
And can't even express my feelings in these rhymes.
Some relationships, ended in a flash.
Some took time, some I know'll last.
But time lost, can never come back.
A waste of nine months, missery from that.
Happiness today, I find hard to see.
When people seem, to discard me.
Without a second thought, without a second glance.
Again and again, I gave you a chance.
How foolish I am, to walk to your arm.
Knowing all will come, is more harm.
When I've walked away, people called me back.
Think I might ease it, fade my life to black.
Takle the breath from my lungs and the spark from my soul.
Through myself happily, in a six foot hole.
People say, they can't live without me.
Just dump that one my shoulders, and I will smile proudly.
When I stand up, with the weight still there.
And carry on walking, without a care.
I should be flattered, I mean so much.
But then I'm thrown aside, without even such.
As an explination, a reason for this time.
Every second we spent together, must've been a lie.
You can live well, without me there at all.
Finally from the weight, I give in and fall.
Buried in a mess, of every memory.
Wounded but not killed, now you're my enemy.
Bitterness flows like river in me.
So I break my skin, in search of some relief.
Every echo of your voice, is a taunt and a pain.
If only there weren't in my heart but my brain.
For from there I could remove them, but on my heart they seem to stay.
Untill a time, someone takes your place.
And new feelings come forth, and shatter that of you I have left.
And I feel joy instead of pain inside my chest.
Again I see the trend, in everything I write.
A wounded heart, a whimp, something I despise.
So I'm of to bed, at least there I can see.
And remeber everything, that once made me, me.
-H

What to do?

It's a sad world, on they day that you see.
Twenty odd teens.
Starting on man with learning difficulties.
Shaking like a leaf.
Going weak at the knees.
Laughing at his stuttering pleas.
No shame, they're a disease.
And I stand with fists squeezed.
Too cowardly.
To jump in.
Thump skin.
Do something.
I'm pumping.
I'm fuming.
At these idiots zooming.
Around on their mopeds.
Slow heads.
Oh there's.
Too many of 'em.
For me to react.
For me to snap.
While he's shaking.
I am taking.
An alternative route.
Because I'm scared
Too arfraid.
To put in the boot.
Excuses, excuses.
I'm just useless.
And shame oozes.
Through every vein.
Never again.
Will I walk away.
-H

I shall not get my hackles up.
These shackles, stuck.
And tackles luck.
To the ground.
Around.
Surrounding.
Me.
And now you'll see.
What lies beneath.
The thick skin, the heart that beats.
As it dies.
No sighs.
Release.
The pain to cease.
And become bitter.
Sweet.

I'd better rename the last one.

I miss feeling.
Like I'm meaning.
Something to you, squeezing.
My throat, wheezing.
Breathing.
Is so hard now.
Like I've been barred now.
See these scars how.
The flare in the dark.
Every beat of my heart.
Skipping.
Slipping.
Away.
On the day.
I look to the sky.
See the moon collide.
With the sun tonight.
And take flight.
From a burning world.
I destroyed myself.
And myself destroyed.
Totally void.
Of emotion.
Like an ocean.
That is frozen.
No shifting tides.
Nowhere to hide.
On plains of ice.
From your cold shoulder.
When I'm older.
I may thaw.
But until then, I'll stay flawed.
-H

My final post.

The scar on my chest is healing nicely.
But I still want to slice me.
Open and dig through the flesh.
Cut it open afresh.
And get to my heart.
Tear it appart.
I'm sick of the pain.
Over agian.
I say these things.
Look these stings.
The hurt quite a bit.
So I'll slip.
Between the ribs.
Pull till it slips.
Out of my grip.
Lands on the floor.
Stitch up the gore.
And become cold once more.
-H

It appears it's me again.
Who is the outlet of your pain.
I take everything you throw.
And I will never ever go.
The words you use, they hurt like hell.
And penetrate every cell.
They smash straight through every defence.
I ever built, that's why I'm tense.
You cut me up, and brake me down.
But always I will stick around.
Be there for you through thick and thin.
Even when you kick me in.
That's why I used to stay so cold.
It's easier than to fold.
And open up your heart to pain.
And let the tears fall just like rain.
But like I've said, I'm always there.
To hold you up, because I care.
-Harry

I love to drive.
And see the sights.
Of people meeting, beneath street lights.
Young people and lovers.
On the run from their mothers.
Hoods up, covers.
The faces of the others.
Who are as close as brothers.
And the bouncers shudder.
And the fags are lit.
To the smell of fish n chips.
As people switch.
From pub to pub.
Bar to bar.
Club to club.
As we glug.
And forget the world.
Outside the walls.
As a tune falls.
It drops.
Rave.
Forget the day.
Let it play.
Run through your brain.
As you drain.
Another drink.
On the brink.
Of a tactical chundder.
Feeling under.
The seat for your phone.
It's time to get a taxi home.