She said "I love you."
Well if that's true.
How come you.
Flew.
Withdrew.
I have no clue.
This hurts too.
Much for me.
Can't you see?
I'm on my knees.
Won't you please.
Listen, Seize.
My arm.
Marks of self harm.
An you're alarmed.
You're not calm.
You won't talk, or even look.
Why the fuck.
Did I pluck.
Up the Courage to spill my guts.
I'm in a rut.
Here I'm stuck.

I smashed myself.
Fuck my health.
Took a wealth.
Of pain.
Again.
Here it's plain.
To see.
The bruise on my cheek.
Hear me speak.
Cool metal pole, or a fist to the face.
Eithers good.
Both bring blood.
Now lie me down, under the mud.
Coffin closed.

Dig me up.
Wash off the mud.
Refill the blood.
And give me a hood.
To hide beneath.
I'm like a thief.
But all too nice.
To take my life.
By pill or knife.
I'll stay to fight.
And in the night.
You'll find me right.
Beneath the light.
In plain sight.
High as a kite.
As I bite.
At a reputation.
Of self mutlilation.
Look at the inflamation.
As it bleeds.
My flow it feeds.
My soul it pleeds.
To be set free.
Of this depression.
And aggression.
Harry

A freind

I heard crying before i knew who it was
The rage the sorrow the dissapiontment at there poor fortunes
I sat and tryed to comfort them but they wouldnt listen
looking in their eyes the usual glisten was missing
There idea of calming down was to drink and drink
The more of the devils liqour went down the throat of my freind
I want to stop him before it became a trend
so i took the bottle of him and threw it in the river
but it didnt land where id intended
it landed straight back in his hand
but me being his compaion his mate his freind
I refused to give in
B?

The Knights tale

The knight in shining armour
mounted up for the battle to come
He felt of pang of fear creep into his mind
But in his head he did find
a tiny scrap of courage and valour
He mounted his loyal steed
To ride ride into the heart of evil and greed
He kicked his mount into a charge
As he saw his foe charge towards him
As he travelled over the bones of his fathers
He knew he would join them in heaven
As long as fought against this terrible horde
until he could fight no more
he rode into the pages of tale and legend
the only importantance to him was his last few seconds
by B?

The more you, take from me.
The more I wanna give to you.
The more I'm put through.
The more I prove you wrong.
I'll show you all, that I am strong.

The more blood from my veins.
The more that I crave the pain.
The more that I want to die.
The more it makes me try.

I'm filled with love.
But is it really enough?
To keep me above.
Rock bottom.
I've forgoten.
How to smile.
It's been a while.
But open up the file.
I been down this road before.
Now I'm straying from the path.
Trying to find again how to laugh.

The more you, take from me.

The more I wanna give to you.
The more I'm put through.
The more I prove you wrong.
I'll show you all, that I am strong.

The more blood from my veins.
The more that I crave the pain.
The more that I want to die.
The more it makes me try.

I've been facing shit for too long.
This so fucking wrong.
I want it all to be gone.
Nothing but a bad memory.
Buried in a cemetery.
Burned.
I've learned.
To cope.
Walking this tight rope.
I could fall, with no safety net.
I wish we'd never met.
You think you know so much of me.
Let's see.

The more you, take from me.
The more I wanna give to you.
The more I'm put through.
The more I prove you wrong.
I'll show you all, that I am strong.

The more blood from my veins.
The more that I crave the pain.
The more that I want to die.
The more it makes me try.

Now I'm angry.
So damn anoyed.
It's a nightmare I tried to avoid.
Throwing myself.
Into hell.
Is the only way to quell.
This thirst.
This feeling.
That's reeling me in.
When I dream of seeling me in.
My own coffin.

But a few things, keep me calm.
One is a lot of self harm.
There's no need for alarm.
Another thing is my friends.
The brother like bonds.
That's lasted so long.
These help.
And then there's her.
Her smile.
Makes me smile.
She makes me laugh.
She makes me love.
She keeps me happy.
She cares.

And doesn't that just eat at your soul!
That you were the one, to never make me whole!

...Error please wait...

I been there before.
Knocking on death's door.
Banging on the wood.
You wish you could.
Froget this now.
But wonder how.
I came back.
From the black.
From the darkness.
No breath.
No breathing.
I was heaving.
Squeezing.
The life from me.
Now maybe you'll see.
What I mean.
I'll come clean.
I had to be brought back.
I never truly thought of that.
The fact.
I could be dead.
I have this now in my head.
I was weak.
I'd not want me.
Maybe.
That's why dad left me.
And wasn't there.
He couldn't bare.
To have such a sick son.
This is why I wanna run.
So many memories.
I want to lose.
Even the ones that involve you.
-H

What kept me?

Here in the dark.
I hear the poundin' of my heart.
And the body art.
That are.
These scars.
On my arms.
Dance by the fire light.
Calm.
As the night air.
Right there.
The knife again.
No longer pain.
As it punctures my skin.
And I leave it in.
The blood is thin.
Runnin'
Down the muscle fibres.

drip.

drip.

drip.

It's a trip.
I'm taking.
There's no mistaking.
And certainly no fakin'
When I'm breaking.
My own body.
When the bag's on my back.
Going to find a new pack.
Leaving when the sky is black.
Add in the fact.
That.
While I'm running from you.
You only have youself to blame.
For all the pain.
The shame.
I feel.
Non of this is real.
It's dream.
And I scream.
With the anger of the weakness.
The bleakness.
In the fact I turned around.
And came back again.
This hold they have.
Must break at some point.

Thud.

Thud.

Thud.

It's my feet in the mud.
Running home.
Before.
They open my bedroom door.
And find my bed empty.
Here I have pleanty.
Of friends.
Family too.
There, I have the freedom.
To run by myself.
Be something else.
But still.
They pull me home.
Every time, I try to go alone.
And it's always in my chest.
The best and worst part of my anatomy.
A fact to me.
That always.
My heart.
Keeps me here.

Why I Stand in the Rain.

I love standing in the pouring rain.
Letting the water drip away the pain.
I know, I'm making no sense again.
But I love to see my reflection dissappear down a drain.
Love the way the water flows faster than the blood in my veins.
Splattering on window panes.
While I go through stuff in my brain.
My mind.
Is racing and I find.
That I seem to be blind.
To all the kind.
Actions and words.
They all become blured.
When I get lured.
Into a false sense of security.
That's why I prefer to be.
Alone in the day, and wild at night.
Where my soul takes flight.
And I no longer fight.
To be myslef, it feels so right.
When the moon is bright.
And the fire light.
Shows my true self.
That's been sat on the shelf.
The one you don't see.
You don't know me.
The one in the trees.
Can you please.
Stop staring, these.
Eyes of mine.
Stare back and see everything.
That you cling.
To, in an attempt to seem.
So much more clean.
That's why I stand in the rain.
To erradicate the pain.
Wash away the stains.
Like purification.
From Precipitaion.
And the relief that comes with evapouration.
Watch the steam rise.
With you wide eyes.
How time flies.
When you having fun.
When the rain runs.
From us both.
That's why I Stand in the Rain.
-H