If I had.

I just got mugged.
Shrugged.
Wiped away the blood.
And continued to strut.
I'm out of my rut.
No more cut.
Wrists.
This is.
Bliss.

If I had had a time machine.
I wouldn't change a thing.
I know some times were mean.
And some wounds still sting.

Start from the beginin.
I was never winnin.
Mainly raised by women.
I was thinnin.
Didn't eat a thing.
Hopin somethin.
Would bring.
My daddy back.
But his lack.
Of bein here.
May have brought my tears.
Engaged my fears.
But over the years.
I grown better than what he'd have made me.
And maybe.
It's for the best.

If I had had a time machine.
I wouldn't change a thing.
I know some times were mean.
And some wounds still sting.

I lost my little cousin.
I remember rushin.
Around, gushin.
Tears.
With my family.
We never got to see.
Her gorw to be.
A happy child, we.
Found out after the funeral.
That the hospital.
Took her organs without permission.
More hurt, blured vission.
From more cyin'
But it made us hard is what I'm tryin.
To say.
I'll always remember that day.
It sticks in my head, in the worst way.

If I had had a time machine.
I wouldn't change a thing.
I know some times were mean.
And some wounds still sting.

Skip forward, miss out more stuff.
I don't want to gush.
Every.
Bad memory.
I have in me.
But let's see,
Which one next?
My dad cryin over his ex.
After she tried to knife him.
Sink a blade into his skin.
And she still met my face with a sickenin.
Grin.
Knowin.
I'd had to hold my dad up.
While he shook.
From the tears.
And my gears.
In my head.
Grind.
While I try to find,
Somethin' to say.

If I had had a time machine.
I wouldn't change a thing.
I know some times were mean.
And some wounds still sting.

A few more months.
And I'm stood in front.
Of a mirror while I grunt.
As I slip a blade across my wrist.
Clench my fist.
Face twists.
Vission mists.
Wash the blood down the sink.
While I blink.
Away the moister.
Like mornin due.
It's gone a soon.
As it came.
As is the pain.
But I know I'll do it again.
Just hope I'll become sane.

If I had had a time machine.
I wouldn't change a thing.
I know some times were mean.
And some wounds still sting.

So now I'm better.
Gettin' wetter.
Standin in the rain.
Waiting for a train.
Have a clear brain.
After havin lain.
My depression to rest.
This is the best.
Time of my life.
And I'm wastin it.
So I'm facin it.
Head on.

If I had had a time machine.
I wouldn't change a thing.
I know some times were mean.
And some wounds still sting.
-H